Yesterday was a very difficult day.
She fed non-stop till 12pm, and still latched on.
She's sleepy yet unwilling to let me put her down.
Just wail and cry.
I had to re-heat and eat lunch with her in my arms.
When I sat down to eat and cannot rock her, she wailed all the way till I scooped enough food to 'tahan' for a while.
These are the times when I think, even I can barely withstand her neediness, how will those in the infant care be able to handle 2 babies (ratio of carer to infant is 1:2) during times like this?
Will they let her cry herself to sleep?
Will they leave her nappy wet/soiled?
Will they soothe her when she cannot go to sleep on her own?
Will they lash out or scold her if she doesn't quiet down and wakes the rest of the babies?
Will they 'shake' her and intentionally/unintentionally hurt my baby?
Will they physically hurt her?
I cannot imagine how others, especially non-family members, may react or do to her on a day like yesterday.
I'm glad I'm the one taking care of her.
It is difficult.
All the more relieved that I am the one taking care of her, that the worst I can/will do to her, is let her cry in my arms / cot until I finish my food/toilet break. If I'm on the verge of falling asleep, then she'll lie with me till she falls asleep.
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